Sadly, my 2 blocks of personal growth and development are over, and so are the fun and games. I am so happy and fulfilled that I had both of those amazing opportunities in China and at the Humane Society, but it was time to learn how to become a doctor. After my first week back, I realized how much I have to learn.
I was humbled by how difficult it was to take an accurate history. I was also so nervous meeting clients and trying to do a complete physical exam in front of them. I missed tons of things, most that were obvious, like the patient was dehydrated. I had major confidence issues that I haven't had since high school and it showed to my clinicians. Most importantly, I have no idea how I will pass boards or be a doctor in less than 3 months and a year, respectively.
On a positive note, my first discharge and SOAP's were pretty good and by the end of the week things were turning around. My shifts in ICU went well since my main exprience was working as an emergency technician. I also really enjoyed following up with clients on the phone.
What makes 4th year so hard is that you are part student, part technician, and part doctor (or trying to be). Who has time to wear that many hats and sleep? It's also hard because your best friends may not be around for the support they provided the 3 years before. This weekend I remembered why my vet school friends are so amazing.
I miss having a life, but I got some reprieve with the terrific Steppin' Out Festival in town with friends Friday and Saturday night and a lazy Sunday with Matt and our dog. It's been 1 year since I brought her home from Washington and she now listens off leash. She is a great compliment to our family.
The hours are long again. I had an 18 hour welcome back Monday and 12 hour days except for Friday. The best part is you're suppose to read for rounds and study for boards on top of that! The truth is compared to surgery, that isn't even as bad as it will get. Finding time and energy to work out or eat was difficult. I will just do my best and take it one day at a time. I will also enjoy neurology since next block is surgery and having a life and sleeping will be harder to do.